youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
