So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Are we still banned from the library?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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