she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
