So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
