I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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