I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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