I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i believe in u and ur pee
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