Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
