are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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