Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
