totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
