Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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