i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
