Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
