I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
