Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
