AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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