Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
