8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
