You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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