you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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