Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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