I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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