Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
