Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
