Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
