That's intense
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
