Dual....:-)
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
