Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Mom said you looked used
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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