Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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