I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
