I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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