I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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