The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Randomize
