Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
