I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
