Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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