awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize