Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
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Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
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Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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