We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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