whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I touched a dick in church today
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