those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
