He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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