A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
