I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
