i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
