So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize