I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
