People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
