Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
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Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I want her autograph on my taint
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
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I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback