So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
