Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
