I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
