Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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