So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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