My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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