I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Someone came in the potted fern
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
