Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
