Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
