census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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