You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
