So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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