so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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