a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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