Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
