im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
