Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
