All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
