is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
