Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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